The Hottest Housewife

Because my blog is all about the pain I suffer from daily, the pain of trying to decide how to be both a domestic and a fashionista, I thought today's feature was totally appropriate!

I know it's a bit sexist to go back to the housewife era, but I would be lying if I said I never like to revisit that time in society; that time when the men went off to work and the women tended to the house and children. C'mon, it's very Mad Men.
Let's get real, whether we're dating, engaged or married, at some point during the relationship we strive to be the "hottest housewife," painting ourselves as the immaculate picture of perfection both in the kitchen and in the bedroom. Well, I'm sorry to say, it's never going to happen for us. Want to know why? Because Marisa Miller has stolen the title.

With a washboard stomach and tousled sex kitten hair, she makes a bowl of pasta and modest polka dot lingerie look obscenely tasty in her new spread for FHM . Her barbie doll legs grace nine full pages and the write-up gives us hope that we too can cook a meal, read the paper, fill a pool and do the laundry while maintaining a 10+ bod o' steel and prancing around in Agent Provacateur, Tra La La and Stella McCartney unmentionables. Oh, and 10" Christian Louboutin heels. My favorite is the second to last photo, where she's dressed in an Urban Outfitters t-shirt and Tra La La boy shorts...very me--tomboy sexy.

I tried this "you can do it all" tactic out last night (of course I had to skip the gym to get it all done in time), making phyllo dough pizza in Cosabella skivvies but the result just wasn't what I hoped it would be. The pizza came out far too buttery leaving my husband and I bloated on the couch watching the The Bachelorette. Oh well, I'll try out a lighter recipe next time and instead of wearing a vintage "T" with my skivvies, I'll try a lacey bra top...or maybe I'll stick to the "T"; I'm very well aware that I'm no Marisa.

You can see Mrs. Miller's sassy photos below, and for all you men, prepare yourselves and know that this isn't reality. We'd like it to be, but unfortunately it just isn't.

And ladies, I'm providing you with the recipe I tried out last night. It's from Bon Appetit yet again. The magazine dedicated an entire spread to healthy, market-fresh cherry tomato dishes. The one I chose was Phyllo Pizza with smoked mozzarella and cherry tomatoes. I would recommend serving it as an appetizer or a snack in lieu of an entree; the phyllo dough, I found out the hard way, is just way too rich to make a meal out of. And, if you're not a fan of Kalamata olives, skip 'em. I did. And I couldn't find smoked mozzarella and accidentally baked the pizza with the fresh Oregano already on on top...it came out even more flavorful as the produce and spices shone brighter!








(All photos from FHM's August 2010 issue)


Phyllo Pizza with Smoked Mozzarella and Cherry Tomatoes
6 appetizer servings



12 to 13 ounces cherry tomatoes and/or pear tomatoes
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
3/4 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
12 12x9-inch sheets fresh phyllo pastry or frozen, thawed
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, melted
4 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan cheese, divided
3/4 cup (packed) coarsely grated smoked mozzarella cheese* (about 3 ounces)
1/2 yellow bell pepper, cut into thin strips
1/4 cup quartered pitted Kalamata olives
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped fresh oregano

*Also called mozzarella affumicata; sold at some specialty foods stores and at cheese shops. If unavailable, use regular (not fresh) whole-milk mozzarella.

Preheat oven to 400°F. Toss tomatoes, olive oil, salt, and oregano in medium bowl. Scatter tomatoes on large rimmed baking sheet; roast until soft and beginning to collapse, about 22 minutes. Remove from oven and let tomato mixture cool. Maintain oven temperature.

Place stack of phyllo sheets on work surface and cover with plastic wrap, then damp kitchen towel to prevent drying.

Brush another large rimmed baking sheet with some of melted butter. Place 1 phyllo sheet on baking sheet. Brush lightly with melted butter and top with second phyllo sheet. Brush with butter and top with third sheet; brush with butter. Sprinkle with 1 tablespoon Parmesan. Repeat 3 more times for total of 12 phyllo sheets and 4 tablespoons Parmesan. Sprinkle stacked phyllo sheets with grated mozzarella, leaving 1/2-inch plain border. Top with roasted tomatoes, pepper strips, and olives.
Bake pizza until phyllo is crisp, 25 to 27 minutes.

Sprinkle 2 teaspoons fresh oregano over, loosen pizza from sheet with large metal spatula, and slide onto cutting board.

(Recipe by Joanne Weir for Bon Appetit's July 2010 issue and Photograph by Kiyoshi Togashi)

I'M STUFFED. SEE YOU TOMORROW.